i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Why can't burritos get me drunk
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
