He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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