I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
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The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
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Everyone says I win the strip club
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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