i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
