I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
