Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
