Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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