hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
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HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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