The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
