Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
