I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
