and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
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