I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
