so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
