If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
