Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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