Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
