I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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