very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
