You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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