Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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