It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
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He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
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I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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