I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.