somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?