The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
