I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
