tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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