I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
