I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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