Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
