garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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