epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize