I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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