Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
