are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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