Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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