Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
