we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
