Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
