We're like a lot better than the average bears
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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