Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
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my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
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I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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