Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
