Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
and you fell through a lawn chair
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
