Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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