feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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