my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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