I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
