Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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