just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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