no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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