I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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