well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
