How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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