I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
