I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
