He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
