I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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