i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
