I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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