im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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