My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
FUCK WHALES
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
