I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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