at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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